WY . . . I'll be your fireman today.

I Can Speak

English, French

I Would Describe Myself As

OH CANADA . . . in a Southern accent

PENIS NAME: My little ICBM


ORIGINAL HUMOR
Partridge Family star David Cassidy was charged with DUI on Nov 10/10. The Florida trooper suspected he'd been drinking when Cassidy looked at him longingly and said "I think I love you"
(Title of one of his big hits)


HI GUYS,
Like my funny profile? This sane, sober, stable guy loves dogs, adventure, great conversation, romance and people. I'm into food, travel, socializing, health, self-improvement, and making a difference. Challenge life, it's GREAT!
Did the red photos myself at age 18. -Lorne




WHAT THE CIA KNOWS ABOUT ME
Easily provoked: If you don't message me for 5 days, you better head for your bomb shelter.
Borderline psychic: I can probably guess your security clearance level.
Outdoorsy: Canoe trips in backwoods of Georgia
Linguist: I can squeal like a pig
Favorite movie: Deliverance
Ruthless: I've already blocked 6000 of you...
(Nothing personal)

I'M SO INTO YOU...if you're into:
Men-in-Black
Deep sounding (metal or plastic)
Stars and stripes
3-beer job descriptions
Iris scanners
Military Intelligence
Theme songs: For Your Eyes Only
(from: The Spy Who Loved Me)
Govt. computers
Secret missions
Living on the 15th floor
Visual aids; magazine pages in envelopes
Crop circles & UFO's & other 'Black Op's'
Lady Gaga's birthday
Animals, esp. Doggie style
Erotic Photos. . of us!
Cologne soaked letters
Helping lonely soldiers feel loved
Secret surprises; pubic hair in letters
Massage
Naked resorts: The Pentagon Steam Room
Public phallic symbols:
-Washington Monument & Calgary Tower
Vanna White
I'll buy an 'e'. . . as in erection.
Soaking in the hot springs on a snowy day
Hot Mormon Missionaries


ME
5 foot 9, Athletic, 165 lbs
Hairy chest
Great butt
6'cut
Self-employed with 3 months off
Openly gay
Always help out hunky soldiers with amnesia


AMBITION
CIA tour guide
To be half as good in bed as I am at writing.
To get married in St. Cloud


NOTABLE
Decided not to nuke Arlington
(Not to be confused with: Duke Ellington)
Published cartoons
Called Hillary to comfort her when Obama won
Volunteered for conjugal visits in prisons
Never used drugs
Sober for 30 years. Then Bush won.


ADVENTURE
Shared a sleeping bag with a Navy Seal
Caught snakes & bats in British Columbia
Dick hunting trip to District of Columbia. TBA
Held the penis for a marine with 2 broken arms when he had to pee.



BOLD
Went to the airport with a fake bomb taped to my chest. They REALLY didn't like it.
Went to Georgia in a Burt Reynolds T-shirt
(They really DID like it.)
Dressed as a Catholic priest in Vegas
(Blessed a slot machine)
Did the 'Tarzan yell' with Carol Burnett
Met Bill Cosby
Stand-up comedy
Pulled the cops over for speeding
Went streaking in the winter
Stopped a shoplifter who wasn't shoplifting
Left work in a towel during a fire drill
Skinny dipped in a lawyer's pool
My truck license plate: 8 UNCUT


MOTOS
Peg me!
Is that a kayak in you pocket or are
you just glad to see me?
It's my constitutional right to be frisked.
All we are saying, is, give war a chance.
-Jane Fonda
Damn the submarine sandwiches!
-Ronald McDonald
Let them watch NASCAR. -Marie Antoinette
When duty calls . . . booty calls wait.
You're the average of your 6 best mutual funds.
Why mess with perfection? -WY
Your habits will make you or cause blindness.
US & Canada: Touching each other for 400 yrs.
I'm short but I have a wookie-wiener. -Yoda
I'm not as think as you drunk I am. -Churchill
It's NOT a comb-over! -Trump
Give me liberty or give me a blow job. -Clinton


DOWNSIDE
Paperwork & technology
Can't match clothes
Outspoken
Often late
ADD


SEX
Long, slow 69
Kiss & TLC
Foreplay
G-spot toys
Naked wrestling
Lite s/m
Fall asleep in my arms


WEB FAVORITES
Dieux du Stade
Angry Young Man
Naked Kombat
John Tesh
YouTube
Ted


LIKE
Single, white, masculine, MEN
Love any kind of uniform! (Well, not a Burger King uniform)

Sign

Aries

My Body Type Is

Athletic

My Height Is

5' 9 (1.75 m)

My Eyes Are

Blue

My Ethnicity Is

Caucasian

My Marital Situation Is

Never Married

I Have Kids

No

I Want Kids

Not Sure

My Best Feature Is

Butt

Body Art

Wouldn't Even Think About It

My Hair Is

Brown

I Have One Or More Of These

No pets

Willing To Relocate

Yes

My Education Level Is

Some College

My Current Employment Status Is

Self-employed

My Speciality Is

Other

My Job Title Is

Window Washer

I Make This Much In A Year

$45,000USD To $59,999USD

I Live

Alone

At Home

Friends Come Over Occasionally

I'm A Smoker

No

I Drink

Yes - Socially

Back In High School, I Was A

Class Clown

My Social Behavior Is

Observant, Friendly, Comedic, Outgoing

My Interest And Hobbies Are

Exercising, Learning, Music, Tv, Movies, Internet, Dining, Photography, Religion / Spirituality, Travel, Volunteering

My Idea Of A Great Time Is

Hanging Out With Friends, Partying, Staying At Home, Trying New Things, The Movies, Relaxing, Tv, Going To A Concert

An Ideal First Date Would Be

A romantic, carriage ride around DC

I've Always Wanted To Try

A cruise ship, lots of travel to a variety of places, cosmetic surgery, sky diving, scuba diving, living in Japan.

My Friends Describe Me As Being

Friendly, Someone They Want To Be, Cool, Goofy

My Religion Is

Spiritual But Not Religious

I Attend Services

Once A Month

My Political Views Are

Middle Of The Road

My Goal In Life Is

To be half as good in bed as I am at creative writing.

My Kind Of Humor Is

Clever, Dry / Sarcastic, Goofy

On Tv, I Always Watch

News, Documentaries, Dramas, Instructional, Movies, Reality Shows

When I Go To The Movies, I Always Go To See A

Action, Science Fiction, Comedy, Drama

When Listening To Music, I Always Listen To

Rock, Pop, Classical, Jazz, Latin, New age, Dance, Gospel, Folk

When I Read, I Always Read

News, Auto-biography, Biography, Business, Comic, Health, Humor, Instructional, Poetry, Science

My Idea Of Fun Is

Dinner parties, trade shows, traveling, skinny dipping, comedy clubs, spending a snowy day in the out-door hot springs with friends, practical jokes, massage, playing with dogs, photography

What Do You Find Attractive?

Intelligence, Good Looks, Humor, Great Skills, Empathy, Sensitivity, Boldness, Spontaneity, Money, Power, Flirtatiousness, Wit, Thoughtfullness

What Do You Look For?

Mysterious men. A vowel. PLEASE, one vowel! First names with phallic first letters. Hairy butts. Guys who love geography lessons.

What Kind Of Relationship Are You Seeking?

Friend, Date, Intimate, Committed