being abused need help to get out

Nombre

justin

Me describiría a mi mismo como

iv had 3 major accidents in my life 1000 lbs crushed my lower leg and foot car acident where i broke all mr ribs and sternum broke my back from an object falling on me and folded me in 2 and then after learning to walk again my 3 lower discs went and i had to learn to deal and walk all over again only this time i didnt use pain pills. iv been recovering from accidents for the good part of 20 yrs and iv missed out alot on life. iv always paied my own way and made sure to not be a burden on anyone for any thing. iv sat countless days while i waited for my boyfriend to even notice me not only in physical pain but in pain from being overlooked and left alone while he went out and lived his life and dated many ppl. iv since have gotten myself to a state where i can function and even excercize. not to the point id like to be but im not helpless and i i dont let my injuries define me, if i am having a good day and get something of a larger task done im told im a faker and a liar. iv also taken care of my mother fior 11 years as we bought a property that needed alot of work with a back house and over several years that it took me to do most of ther work with no help from the person who mattered most. i took my mom on as she began to deteriorate from copd and later cancer. my family lives 30+ miles away so most of my moms care was left up to me and a sister who moved here to the city for better health treatment. she was my only real relief as she would come and stay a few days a week.we lost my mother to her cancer a few years ago and i started loosing interest in life and quit even going to the gym, a must for me as if i dont keep moving i cant do the every day tasks that keep me indipendant. at this time with nothing to fill my days i started noticing that i wasnt really being concidered when big decisions were being made that affected me, i wasnt getting the help and respect i deserved as an equil partner ans i started to realize that after all the work i had done and care taking i had done i did it all alone. there wasnt one instance i could honestly recall that my boyfriend helped me remodle one thing except the rebuilding of the back porch. and that was done wrong by him and a friend after i explained in detail that boards and 2x4s are to be crowned. not one appointment for myself or my mom was met with a helping hand or a compassionate heart. even after her lung removal all my bf did was to pp his head in to make sure my moms machines were not going to blow a fuse or cause a fire and never one time was he there for anything. i kept the entire house clean the property and double lot and yards tended garbage collected windows done gardens weeded and both hoses clean and still took my mom to her doctors and later to pt and then the gym as i wanted her to have the best chances of recovery and she was a nurse of 35 years and knew what had to be done. she also had 2 heart sergeries and 2 knee replacments durring her time here with me. and that too took alot out of me but i made sure to be available and to not let any time be wasted so as my boyfrnd wouldnt feel like i had no time for him. his dinner was always cooked his sheets changed and his every need tended. and i looked at it closely and i was never taken out rarely on any outing or date, the things i did attened i asked him always to come and even begged him and the answer was always no. id get the third degree if i spent money of any kind and was put down if i asked for sex. he told me often i let you blow me thats enough. cut to his dui 3 yrs ago where i had to face my fears of driving after 8 yrs with no licence and no reason to get one because i was told i couldnt drive and i scared him as i put a car in my name and drove him to work almost an hr one way so he didnt loose his job and thats when the real abuse began. i was beat up while driving at 50 miles an hour with my little dog under my arm beat at home countls times and degraded beond words and it continues to this day

Signo

Virgo

Mi tipo de cuerpo es

Normal

Mi altura es

5' 11 (1.8 m)

Mi raza es

Nativo Americano